The HighConflict Couple Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace Intimacy Alan E Fruzzetti Ph D Books
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The HighConflict Couple Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace Intimacy Alan E Fruzzetti Ph D Books
As a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been DBT trained since 2004 and led weekly DBT groups for 8 years, I would say this is one of the best self-help books on marital problems. Although Marsha Linehan originally developed DBT for seriously suicidal clients, DBT skills can benefit everyone. If you think your spouse has symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may have read books that insinuate that your spouse will always make your life miserable and that you should, to preserve your own sanity, just get out of the relationship. This is in many cases not true. Contrary to popular opinion, borderline personality disorder is treatable. It is usually a result of someone who is naturally emotional by nature being subjected to prolonged abuse in childhood. I think of it as a severe form of post traumatic stress disorder.While it is normal to want to be close and attached to one's spouse, the person who has been abused in the past is conflicted in both wanting and fearing closeness. This is the source of the alternating clingy and angry behaviors. A person who really puts DBT into practice can make remarkable progress. For those of you married to people with BPD, recognize that, while they will always be somewhat emotional and dramatic, this can make life with them quite interesting. The point I want to stress is that DBT can help them greatly decrease their more distressing behaviors.
There is a lot of misinformation out there about BPD, and even some therapists who should know better see it as a stigma. The good thing about this book is that it never mentions borderline personality disorder except in the bibliography. So you can use it to work with your BPD spouse without labeling him or her as the "sick one."
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The HighConflict Couple Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace Intimacy Alan E Fruzzetti Ph D Books Reviews
Absolutely superb book. I use with clients in couples therapy. Have purchased several and have loaned the book to couples.
Really helpful if you're both willing to give it a read. We purchased both the book and the audiobook since we were dedicated to learning from this. It definitely helps to provide some impartial introspection and it's worth a reread if you find yourself falling back into old habits for whatever reasons.
very insightful. we decided to buy the audio and listen on car rides together. very helpful. looking forward to finishing the book!
bought the hard copy as well. totally needed
I am a DBT therapist. I have several copies of this book in my office. I have all of my clients read it. It is accessible to the lay person. I actually give it to clients that aren't even in "high conflict". The title is a bit of a stigma, and I need to explain that the content is way more important that the title.
This book is really for any relationship, not just couples. It provides ideas on how to approach conflict situations that I found to be quite helpful. DBT lays things out in a way that makes good sense. Yes, I recommend this book.
Easy to read and very helpful! Reading this book made me realize I was responsible for 75% of our problems, oops.
I gained some useful insights from this book and DBT therapy ... but there is homework that needs to be done. Both partners must want to do the work and own their own feelings and behaviors. Without that, it won't work. Didn't wind up helping my marriage which has ended, but it has helped other situations and relationships in my life. DBT seemed to help a couple that was on the verge of divorce in our couples workshop, and that was lovely to see. Unfortunately, my former husband did not want to do the exercises and just showed up with the attitude that he didn't need to do anything because he has no problems. I'm not sure if actually practicing DBT could have saved us, but having the attitude from either partner or both that we had, I doubt marriage therapy will help. You have to want to make it work. If you do, this may be a really good path to try. Do it while you still are committed to your marriage even if you're upset or angry as hell. Don't wait so long that you're burned out and don't care. Best of luck.
As a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been DBT trained since 2004 and led weekly DBT groups for 8 years, I would say this is one of the best self-help books on marital problems. Although Marsha Linehan originally developed DBT for seriously suicidal clients, DBT skills can benefit everyone. If you think your spouse has symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may have read books that insinuate that your spouse will always make your life miserable and that you should, to preserve your own sanity, just get out of the relationship. This is in many cases not true. Contrary to popular opinion, borderline personality disorder is treatable. It is usually a result of someone who is naturally emotional by nature being subjected to prolonged abuse in childhood. I think of it as a severe form of post traumatic stress disorder.
While it is normal to want to be close and attached to one's spouse, the person who has been abused in the past is conflicted in both wanting and fearing closeness. This is the source of the alternating clingy and angry behaviors. A person who really puts DBT into practice can make remarkable progress. For those of you married to people with BPD, recognize that, while they will always be somewhat emotional and dramatic, this can make life with them quite interesting. The point I want to stress is that DBT can help them greatly decrease their more distressing behaviors.
There is a lot of misinformation out there about BPD, and even some therapists who should know better see it as a stigma. The good thing about this book is that it never mentions borderline personality disorder except in the bibliography. So you can use it to work with your BPD spouse without labeling him or her as the "sick one."
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